chapter3-page_65-91

3. At the end of June, Maxim had to go to London for two days, and I was left alone. I felt

very anxious. I thought he would get into an accident, and I would never see him again.

I was so worried that I could not even eat my lunch. In the afternoon Robert brought me

the message that Maxim had arrived safely in London. I was relieved. The pain had gone.

I felt very well and happy now. It was a strange sense of freedom. It was because Maxim had

gone to London. I did not want him to go, but now I was glad he was away. I called Jasper

and went into the woods. We walked through the happy valley to the bay. We went down to the beach.

The sea was very calm, and there was no wind. Jasper went up the rocks immediately.

Not that way, Jasper, I said, but he did not listen to me. I climbed up the rocks after him,

pretending that I did not want to go to the other beach. Maxim isn't with me, I thought,

and continued. The tide was out, and there was a little water in the bay. The boy was still there.

There was no one on the beach. I walked towards the boy and could read the name on it now.

Zuryan. A good name for a boat, I thought. I'll come back.

But it had not been a good name for this boat that never came back.

I walked back across the beach to the cottage. The sun was out, so the cottage did not look so

evil. There was nothing to be frightened of. I went to the door and noticed it was not closed.

I knew I had closed it last time. Jasper began growling. I opened the door. It was dark inside.

A sound came from the boat house, and Jasper ran into the room, barking angrily.

Is there anybody there? I said. I looked through the door and saw someone sitting in the corner,

trying to hide. It was Ben.

What is the matter, I asked?

I'm not doing anything, he said. He was frightened. He had a fishing line in his hand

that he was trying to hide.

Listen, Ben, I said. You can take that line if you want, but you mustn't do it again.

It's not honest. Come with me.

We went outside.

You won't lock me up, will you? He said. He was shaking. I didn't do anything. I never told anyone.

He started crying.

It's all right, Ben, I said. No one will put you away, but don't go in there again.

You've got Angel's eyes, he said, as he smiled. You're not like the other one.

She was tall and dark. She had snake eyes. She'd come at night. She caught me watching her once.

She said, You haven't seen me here. You'll be locked up.

She's gone now.

No one's going to put you away, I said.

Good afternoon, Ben.

I turned and walked up to the path, pulling Jasper.

Poor Ben, I thought. He's mad.

I looked back, but he was not there anymore.

Suddenly, I wanted to run. I started running through the woods.

I felt like there was someone down there, someone who watched and listened.

I was glad when I reached the lawn and saw the house safe and secure.

As I walked across the lawn, I noticed a car in the drive behind the red flowers.

I went closer and saw that it was a green sports car.

Then, I looked up at the house.

One of the shutters of the windows in the West Wing was open.

I saw a man standing by the window.

Then, another person, dressed in black, closed the shutters.

It was Mrs. Danvers.

Who was the man? Was he a repairman? A friend of Mrs. Danvers?

Why had he come on the day Maxim was away?

I went into the house and to the morning room.

The door was open and I noticed someone had been sitting on the divan.

The chair had also been moved. I felt uncomfortable.

Then, I heard people approaching, so I hid behind the door. Jasper was with me.

I heard Mrs. Danvers say, she must have gone to the library. Wait here and I will go and see.

They were talking about me. I did not know what to do.

Then, Jasper turned his head and moved to the door, wagging his tail.

Hello, Jasper. I heard the man say. Jasper ran to him. I heard the man come into the room.

He saw me behind the door. He was very surprised.

I beg your pardon, he said.

He was a big, handsome man. He had a red face and hard blue eyes. His breath smelt of whiskey.

I hope you'll forgive me, he said. I just came to see Dany. She's a very old friend of mine.

Dear Dany, she was so worried about disturbing anyone. She didn't want to worry you.

It doesn't matter, I said. I did not like him. How's Max? He said.

I was surprised. It sounded like he knew Maxim. It was strange because no one called him Max.

I said Maxim was in London. He's left you all alone.

Isn't he afraid someone might come and take you away? He laughed. I did not like his laugh.

Mrs. Danvers came into the room. She looked at me angrily.

Hello, Dany, said the man. Aren't you going to introduce me to the new bride?

This is Mr. Favel, madam, said Mrs. Danvers. She spoke quietly.

How do you do? I said. Will you stay for tea? He laughed.

Now, isn't that kind, Dany? He said. He turned to me and said.

But I should go. Come and look at my car. I felt awkward and embarrassed. He insisted.

It's a very good car, much faster than Max's car.

He took Mrs. Danvers' hand and said,

Goodbye, Dany. Take care. It's been good to see you. I followed him to the drive.

Dear old Mandalay, he said, it hasn't changed at all.

What do you think of living here, all alone and isolated?

I like Mandalay very much, I said.

Well, goodbye, he said. By the way, it would be very nice of you if you did not tell Max about my little visit.

All right, I said awkwardly.

Perhaps I'll come and visit you one day. He got in the car and drove away noisily.

I walked back to the house. Mrs. Danvers had disappeared.

It was Frith's day off, and Mrs. Danvers had sent Robert to the post office.

This man, Favil, had chosen the right time, I thought. There was something not right about all this.

I wondered who Favil was. He had been in Mandalay before.

Suddenly, I thought maybe Mrs. Danvers was dishonest.

Maybe she was doing something bad with this man. Why had they been in the West Wing?

Maybe the man was a thief, and she was helping him.

I decided to go upstairs to the West Wing and check the rooms.

I was in the corridor. I had not been there since my first morning in the house.

There was no sound at all. I

turned the handle of the door and went inside. I

turned the light on.

I was shocked because the room was fully furnished as though it was being used.

There were no dust sheets on the chairs and tables.

There were brushes, combs, and bottles of perfume on the dressing table, a

satin dressing gown and a pair of slippers lay on a chair.

The bed was made up. There were flowers everywhere.

I imagined that Rebecca would come back to the room and sit down at the dressing table and comb her hair.

I walked slowly to the middle of the room.

No.

Rebecca would not come back.

Even if Mrs. Danvers put flowers in the room, they would not bring her back.

She was dead. I could hear the sea.

I went to the window and opened the shutters.

I realized I was standing at the same window where Favo and Mrs. Danvers had stood half an hour ago.

My legs were shaking. I

sat down by the dressing table.

My heart was heavy. I looked around the room.

Yes, it was beautiful. It was the most beautiful room in the house.

I got up and went to the chair. I

touched the satin dressing gown. I

held the slippers in my hand.

There was a night dress on the bed. I touched it. It smelled of the white flowers in the happy valley.

Then I heard a step behind me. I

turned around and saw Mrs. Danvers.

There was a look of strange excitement on her face.

Is anything the matter, Madam? Are you feeling unwell? She asked.

I tried to smile.

I'm all right, Mrs. Danvers, I said. I did not expect to see you. I came up to close one of the shutters.

I will close it, she said, and did so.

The room was dark again.

She came back from the window and stood beside me.

You opened the shutter yourself. Didn't you? She said.

You wanted to see this room.

Now you are here. Let me show you everything.

Her voice was low and friendly. A voice I hated and feared.

That was her bed.

Beautiful, isn't it?

Here is her night dress, the one she was wearing before she died.

Feel it. Hold it.

How soft and light it is.

These are her slippers.

Mrs. Danvers walked to the large wardrobe and opened it.

The wardrobe is full of her evening clothes. She looked beautiful in any color.

She held my arm tightly.

She bent down and her dark eyes looked deep into mine.

I will always blame myself for the accident, she said.

I was out that evening.

Mrs. De Winter was in London, so I didn't hurry back.

When I came in at nine, I learned that she had returned and gone to the beach.

I felt worried because the wind was blowing hard.

I would have stopped her from going if I had been here.

She always listened to me.

My arm was hurting from the pressure of her fingers.

Mr. De Winter came home after eleven.

The wind was blowing harder and she had not come back.

I sat waiting until half past five.

Then I couldn't wait any longer, so I put my coat on and went to the beach.

I saw the boy, but the boat had gone.

Mrs. Danvers let go of my arm.

Her voice became mechanical again.

Now, you know why Mr. De Winter does not use these rooms anymore.

I come here and dust the rooms every day.

If you want to come again, ask me.

No one ever comes here but me.

She was friendly in an unpleasant way again.

She had a false smile on her face.

I feel her everywhere in the house.

You do too, don't you?

I forced a smile. I could not speak.

Do you think she can see us?

She asked.

I don't know, I said. I don't know.

Sometimes I wonder, she said.

I wonder if she comes back and watches you and Mr. De Winter together.

We stood there by the door, looking at each other.

I could not take my eyes away from hers.

They were dark and evil, full of hatred.

She opened the door.

I walked into the corridor.

I went down the stairs, not looking where I was going.

I walked to the east wing of the house.

I pushed open the door of my bedroom.

I shot the door and locked it.

Then I lay on my bed and closed my eyes.

I felt terribly sick.

Maxim called at the next morning.

I was having breakfast when the phone rang.

Frith answered it.

I thought Maxim would want to speak with me, but he did not.

Frith came into the dining room and told me Maxim would be back at 7

in the evening.

I went on eating my breakfast with Jasper at my feet.

I wondered what I should do all day.

I was tired because I had slept badly.

At 10 o 'clock, the telephone rang again.

It was Beatrice.

Well, my dear, how are you? She said.

I'm having lunch with my grandmother.

Shall I come and pick you up and we'll go together?

I'd like it very much, Beatrice, I said.

All right, my dear. See you later, she said.

I was glad she had called.

It gave me something to look forward to.

I went into the garden.

I sat down and tried to read a book.

I did not want to think of yesterday afternoon and Mrs. Danvers.

But I felt that I was not alone.

It would be easy for Mrs. Danvers to watch me from one of the windows of the house.

Beatrice arrived early in the afternoon.

I ran out to her, ready to go.

I got into the car.

Well, my dear, here I am, she said, and gave me a kiss.

You don't look well, she said.

You're too thin and your face is pale.

What's wrong with you?

Nothing, I said.

You looked different when I saw you first.

You are not expecting a baby, are you?

No, I don't think so, I said awkwardly.

I do hope you have a son soon.

It would make Maxim so happy.

What have you been doing?

Are you still drawing?

Did you like the books I sent you?

Yes, of course, I said. It was a lovely present.

She was silent for a while and drove without speaking.

How is Maxim?

She asked after a moment.

Very well, thanks, I said.

I wondered whether I should tell her about the man Faval.

I did not want her to tell Maxim, but I wanted to know about the man.

Beatrice, I said.

Have you ever heard of someone called Faval?

Jack Faval.

Jack Faval, she said.

Yes, I do know the name.

Wait a minute, of course.

He's an awful man.

I met him once a long time ago.

He came to Mandalay yesterday to see Mrs. Danvers.

I said, oh, well, I suppose he knows Mrs. Danvers well.

He was Rebecca's cousin.

I was very surprised.

Oh, I didn't know that, I said.

I guess he used to go to Mandalay a lot.

I don't know. I was seldom there, she said.

I felt that she did not want to talk about this.

I did not like him, I said.

I don't blame you, Beatrice said.

I waited, but she did not say any more.

We had arrived at the grandmother's house.

Don't forget, the old lady is nearly blind, said Beatrice.

And she has memory problems.

I called the nurse to tell her we were coming.

We were shown into the sitting room, where the grandmother was sitting.

She was very old and had a strong resemblance to Maxim.

The nurse was by her side.

After Beatrice said hello and kissed her, she told me to kiss her as well.

I bent down and kissed her on the cheek.

She touched my face with her fingers.

So good of you to come.

I'm very pleased to see you, she said.

You should have brought Maxim with you.

Maxim is in London, he is coming back tonight.

Beatrice told her about her son and her husband.

As they chatted, the nurse turned to me.

Do you like Mandalay, Mrs. De Winter?

She asked.

Very much thank you, I said.

We were very pleased with the postcard Mr. De Winter sent from Italy.

Did you have fine weather there?

She asked.

Yes, it was very warm.

I said.

Why isn't Maxim here today?

Ask the old lady.

We told you darling, Maxim had to go to London, said Beatrice impatiently.

I see.

But you said Maxim was in Italy.

He was in Italy in April.

They're back at Mandalay now.

The old lady looked at me closely.

Are you staying at Mandalay too?

You know she does.

She and Maxim are married, said Beatrice.

I don't understand, said the old lady.

I don't know your face.

Where is Rebecca?

I like Rebecca.

What have you done with her?

There was a long pause.

I felt my cheeks burning.

I think you should go, Mrs. Lacy, said the nurse.

She looks tired.

I'm sure you will understand, Mrs. De Winter.

She said apologetically.

Of course, I said.

We left the house and got in the car.

It was very awkward.

My dear, I'm very sorry, said Beatrice.

I don't know what to say.

Don't be silly.

It doesn't matter.

It's all right, I said.

I had forgotten she liked Rebecca so much.

Rebecca used to invite her to Mandalay.

She made her laugh all the time.

Rebecca had an amazing ability to charm people.

Will you forgive me?

It's all right, I said.

I wanted to stop talking about it.

Beatrice left me at the gates of the house.

She had to meet Giles at the train station.

I walked up the drive, thinking about the afternoon.

Then I noticed Maxim's car.

I ran quickly into the house.

I approached the library.

The door was shut.

I heard voices coming from inside.

Maxim's voice was loud and angry.

Tell Favell to keep away from Mandalay.

Do you hear?

I know he was here.

Never mind who told me.

You can meet him outside, Mandalay.

But he can't come in here.

I'm warning you for the last time.

I heard footsteps, so I ran upstairs quickly and hid.

Mrs. Danvers came out of the library.

Her face was grey and horrible.

She had not seen me.

Silently, she went through the door to the West Wing.

I waited a moment and went downstairs into the library.

When the door opened, Maxim turned quickly and saw me.

I smiled and held his hand.

I could tell he was very angry.

Beatrice drove me to see your grandmother today, I said.

We sat down together.

I missed you so much, I said.

I hate being here without you.

I wondered if he would tell me about what had happened a minute ago

with Mrs. Danvers.

We did not speak for some time.

Are you worried about something?

I finally said.

It was a long day.

The drive from London is very long.

I knew that he was not going to tell me about Mrs. Danvers.

It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon.

We had Frank Crawley over for lunch

and were hoping for a quiet afternoon in the garden.

But then, a car appeared in the driveway and then a few more.

They were all visitors.

We went to welcome them.

They stayed for tea, of course.

As we ate our cake, one of the visitors, Lady Crowan, said,

Oh, Mr. De Winter, I wanted to ask you,

are you having the Mandalay Fancy Dressball this year?

I haven't thought about it, said Maxim.

Oh, but we have all been thinking about it.

We used to enjoy it so much.

I don't know, said Maxim.

It was all a lot of work.

You should ask Frank Crawley.

He would do most of the work.

I don't mind the work.

It's for Maxim and Mrs. De Winter to decide, said Frank.

Everyone looked at me and started trying to persuade me.

Mrs. De Winter, you must help us.

Your husband will listen to you.

You are a new bride.

The ball will be in your honour.

They all laughed and clapped their hands.

Maxim looked at me.

What do you think about it, he said?

I don't know, I said.

I think it could be fun.

All right then, Maxim said.

Frank, you start making the arrangements.

You can get Mrs. Danvers to help you.

She will know what to do.

The visitors finally left.

We started talking about the ball.

I suppose we will have to ask everyone in the neighbourhood, said Maxim.

You will have to work a lot, he said, turning to Frank.

I'll take care of everything, said Frank.

I'll find the list of names and prepare the invitations.

Mrs. De Winter doesn't need to think about anything.

I was glad that I did not have the responsibility,

but I was a little bit hurt that they did not think I was capable of writing invitations.

What will you wear? I asked Maxim.

I never wear fancy dress.

I'm the host, so I can do what I like.

What should I wear? I said. I'm not good at dressing up.

As long as you don't look like a monkey, I don't mind what you wear, he said.

All right, my costume will be a secret, I said, and went outside.

Maxim sometimes treated me like a child, and I did not like it.

I wished I could look wiser, more mature. I wanted to be old.

Soon, everyone was talking about the ball.

My maid Clarice talked of nothing else.

She told me that the servants were also very excited about the ball.

What will you wear, madam? Clarice asked excitedly.

I don't know, Clarice. I haven't decided yet, I said.

But when I do decide, I will tell you and nobody else, it will be a secret between us.

Oh, madam, how exciting, she said.

I don't know how I am going to wait for the day.

I had not seen Mrs. Danvers since that afternoon, when she had that conversation with Maxim in the library.

I did not know if she thought I was the one who had told Maxim about Favel's visit.

I did not want to remember anything about that afternoon.

The preparations for the ball continued.

I began to get worried about my costume, I did not know what to wear.

I was nervous about all the people who would come and criticize me.

I looked through the books that Beatrice had given me to find a costume, and I made some drawings,

but I did not like any of them.

I wanted something stylish and simple.

That evening, as I was getting ready for dinner, there was a knock at my door.

It was Mrs. Danvers.

She held a piece of paper in her hand.

It was one of my drawings for a costume.

I found this, she said.

I thought you had thrown these drawings away by mistake.

No, Mrs. Danvers, I said, after a moment.

It was only a sketch. I don't want it.

I thought she would leave, but she was standing there by the door.

So, you have not decided what to wear, she said.

No, I said. No, I haven't decided.

Why don't you copy one of the pictures in the house, she said.

The pictures in the gallery would make good costumes, especially that one of the young lady in white with her hat in her hand.

Her voice was surprisingly normal and friendly.

Yes, I might think about that, I said.

Has Mr. De Winter suggested a costume for you, she said.

No, I said, after some hesitation.

I want to surprise him and Mr. Crawley. I don't want to tell them about it.

You can have your dress made in London, madam, she said.

There is a shop in Bond Street. It's a good place, I know.

Thank you, Mrs. Danvers, I said.

Mrs. Danvers shut the door very gently behind her.

I went on with my dressing, puzzled at her attitude.

Before dinner, I went upstairs to the gallery to have a look at the pictures.

Mrs. Danvers was right. I always loved the girl in white with the hat in her hand.

It was the portrait of Carolina Winter, a sister of Maxim's great -great -grandfather.

She was a famous London beauty for many years.

The white dress was very simple. It had short sleeves and a long skirt.

She had curly hair, so I would have to wear a wig.

The next day, I sent a sketch of the portrait to the shop in London.

They were going to copy the dress and provide the wig.

I was relieved that I had finally decided.

As the day of the party approached, the house began to change.

Furniture was moved so that the long tables could be placed against the wall.

Lights were put up on the terrace and in the rose garden.

There were signs of preparation for the ball everywhere.

I was not expected to do anything. I used to stand about doing nothing.

The day of the big party arrived at last.

It was a beautiful summer's day without a cloud in the blue sky.

The house was full of fresh flowers.

My costume had been sent in time.

The dress and the wig both looked perfect.

I had tried them on and was amazed at the transformation.

I looked quite different and attractive.

I looked much more interesting, more alive.

I had lunch with Maxim and Frank that day.

They kept asking me about my costume.

You won't know me, I said. You will both get shocked.

After lunch, we went back to the house.

The musicians had arrived and we welcomed them.

The afternoon seemed endless.

There was nothing I could do to help and I was bored.

At tea time, Beatrice and Giles arrived.

This is like old times, said Beatrice, looking about her.

Everything is beautiful. What's everyone going to wear?

I suppose Maxim, as always, refuses to wear a costume.

As always, said Maxim.

Such a mistake, I think. It would be much more fun if you did.

I'm dressing as an Arabian chic, said Giles.

What are you going to be, Mrs. Lacy?

Said Frank.

I'll be in a kind of Eastern dress.

Lots of beads, you know, and a veil over my face.

It sounds very nice, I said politely.

Beatrice turned to me.

What are you wearing? She asked.

She won't tell any of us, said Maxim.

It's a secret. She's had it made in London.

It's quite simple, really, I said.

What are you wearing, Crawley? asked Giles.

Frank looked rather apologetic.

I've been so busy that I've left things to the last moment.

I found an old pair of trousers and a striped shirt.

I'll put a patch over one eye and come as a pirate.

Why didn't you write to us and borrow a costume, said Beatrice?

Oh, I'm getting excited.

I'm so glad you decided to do this again, Maxim.

You've got her to thank for it, said Maxim, looking at me.

Everybody looked at me and smiled.

I felt happy.

People were being nice. They were all so friendly.

The dance was being given for me in my honor because I was the bride.

I wanted to go upstairs and put on my dress and try the wig in front of the mirror.

I felt important.

What's the time, I said carelessly, pretending I did not care.

Should we go upstairs and get ready?

I found Clarice waiting for me in my bedroom, her face full of excitement.

We giggled at one another like school girls and locked the door.

We spoke to one another softly and walked on Tiptoe.

Clarice brought the dress and helped me put it on.

It fitted perfectly.

It's beautiful, Madam.

Clarice kept saying, it's a dress fit for the Queen of England.

Give me the wig, I said excitedly.

Be careful with the curls.

Clarice stood behind my shoulder.

I held the soft, shiny curls.

Oh, Clarice, I said, what will Mr. Dewin to say?

Somebody knocked on the door.

It's me, my dear.

Don't panic, said Beatrice.

I want to look at you.

No, no, I said. You can't come in.

I'm not ready. I'll come down when I'm ready.

I looked at myself in the mirror.

I did not recognize the face that I stared at.

The eyes were larger, the skin white and clear.

I took the skirt of my dress in my hands.

I asked Clarice to unlock the door.

Run ahead and see if they are there, I said.

She went giggling and I followed her along the corridor.

I looked down from the gallery.

Everyone was standing in the hall.

Giles in his white Arab dress laughing loudly.

Beatrice in an extraordinary green dress with beads covering her neck.

Frank in his striped shirt and seaboots and Maxim in his evening clothes.

The musician started playing a tune.

I looked up at the picture of Carolina Winter.

Yes, the dress was an exact copy.

I held the same big hat in my hand and my curls were her curls.

I had never felt so excited before, so happy and proud.

I told the musicians to beat the drum and then call out Miss Caroline De Winter.

My heart was beating fast and my cheeks were burning.

I smiled at Clarice, then the drums sounded.

Miss Caroline De Winter shouted the drummer.

I stood at the top of the stairs, smiling my hat in my hand like the girl in the picture.

I walked slowly down the stairs.

Nobody clapped, nobody moved.

I went on smiling.

How do you do, Mr De Winter?

I said.

Maxim stared up at me.

His face had turned white.

I hesitated.

Something was wrong.

They had not understood.

Why was Maxim looking like that?

Then, Maxim moved towards me.

What do you think you are doing?

He asked.

His eyes were full of anger.

It's the picture, I said, the one in the gallery.

There was a long silence.

What is it, I said? What have I done?

Then, Maxim spoke again.

His voice was quiet and icy cold.

Go and change, he said.

Go now, before anybody comes.

Why are you still standing there? Didn't you hear what I said?

I turned and ran.

Tears blinded my eyes.

Clarice had gone. The corridor was empty.

Then, I saw that the door leading to the West Wing was wide open.

Mrs Danvers was standing there.

I will never forget the look on her face, full of joy and terrible hate.

She stood there, smiling at me.

I ran to my room, tripping and nearly falling over my skirt.

Clarice was waiting for me in my bedroom.

As soon as she saw me, she started crying.

I did not say anything.

It's all right, Clarice. It's not your fault, I said.

Your lovely dress, Madam, she said.

It doesn't matter, I said. Help me take it off.

What will you wear instead, Madam? She said.

I don't know, I said. I don't know.

Please leave me now. Forget what's happened.

I want you to enjoy the party and don't tell anyone about what's just happened.

Somebody knocked on the door.

It opened and Beatrice came in.

Clarice left.

My dear, said Beatrice and held out her hands to me.

Are you all right? You look very white. Sit down for a few minutes.

I'll get a glass of water.

She filled me a glass of water. I drank some.

Of course, I knew at once it was just a terrible mistake, she said.

You could not have known.

Known what, I said.

The costume. It was what Rebecca wore at the last fancy dress ball at Mandalay.

The same picture, the same dress.

As you stood there on the stairs for a moment, I thought.

She did not finish her sentence.

I should have known, I said.

How could you know? But it was such a shock, you see.

None of us expected it. And Maxim, he thinks you did it on purpose as a joke.

And of course, he doesn't understand.

But don't worry. You'll explain it to him.

Everything will be all right.

The guests are arriving now. We're going to tell them that your dress didn't fit.

I did not say anything.

What can you wear, said Beatrice?

Here, this blue dress looks beautiful.

Put this on. Quick, I'll help you.

No, I said. No, I'm not coming down. I can't.

Beatrice stared at me. But my dear, you must, she said.

Nobody will know about the dress.

We will tell them the shop sent the wrong dress and it did not fit.

So you are wearing an ordinary evening dress.

I can't come down now, Beatrice. I can't.

But my dear, everyone will be arriving, she said.

It will look so strange if you don't come down.

What does it matter, I said.

Think of Maxim. You must come down for him.

I can't, I said, repeatedly.

Beatrice stared at me.

Well, I have to go down.

They are waiting for me at dinner.

She rushed out of the room.

I got up from my bed and looked out of the window.

The garden was ready. The lamps would be lit soon.

There were tables and chairs in the rose garden.

I thought about what all those people would think.

The servants would say,

she's not like our Mrs. De Winter, she's different.

One guest would say,

I heard they've had an argument and she won't appear.

Another would say, I've heard he's beginning to realize he's made a big mistake.

And when you think of Rebecca,

I walked slowly back to the bed.

I put the white dress and the wig into the box.

Then I washed my face and combed my hair.

I put on the blue dress and the shoes that went with it.

When I was ready, I opened the door and went along the corridor.

Everything was still and quiet.

The door to the west wing was closed.

Then I heard the sound of voices coming from the dining room.

They were still having dinner.

Suddenly I heard a sound behind me.

I turned around, but there was nobody there.

A current of air blew in my face.

I realized that the door to the west wing was open.

I walked there.

It was dark and I could feel the wind blowing on my face from an open window.

The curtain was blowing softly.

I heard the sound of the sea.

I turned quickly and shut the door of the west wing behind me.

I walked back along the corridor.

The door of the dining room was now open.

They were coming out of dinner.

I walked slowly down the stairs to meet them.

I remember very little of my first party at Mandalay.

It was my first and my last party.

I remember people dancing.

I remember Robert dropping a tray of ice.

I remember Beatrice watching me and smiling.

I remember dancing with Giles.

Maxim stood beside me.

His face was a mask.

His smile was not his own.

The eyes were not the eyes of the man I loved, the man I knew.

His eyes were cold and without expression.

He never spoke to me.

What was the time?

I did not know.

The night passed hour after hour, the same faces and the same tunes.

Beatrice came and whispered in my ear.

Why don't you sit down? You look like death.

Later, Giles came up to me and said,

come and watch the fireworks on the terrace.

I remember standing on the terrace and staring up at the sky.

The fireworks rose into the air and the sky became red and gold.

Every window of Mandalay was in flames

and the walls were coloured by the falling lights.

Then suddenly it was dark.

I heard the sound of cars starting in the drive.

They're beginning to leave, I thought.

Thank God they're going.

People came to say goodbye.

It's been a wonderful party, they said.

I've enjoyed every minute of it, the best evening I've had in a long time.

I'm so glad, I kept saying, I could not think of anything else.

Maxim and Frank were in the drive, seeing that people got their cars.

Beatrice came up to me.

It was a great success, she said.

She looked at me.

My dear, you should go to bed. You look very tired.

Have your breakfast in bed tomorrow morning.

Yes, perhaps.

I'll tell Maxim you've gone up to bed, shall I?

Yes, please Beatrice.

All right, my dear, sleep well.

I walked slowly to my room.

It was getting light now and the birds had started singing.

I undressed and got into bed.

My body was very tired.

I lay back and closed my eyes.

I wished my mind would rest and relax.

I wondered when Maxim would come.

My little bedside clock ticked out the minutes one by one.

An hour went by, but Maxim did not come.