chapter4-page_94-119

4. I fell asleep a little after seven. When I awoke, it was past eleven. Clarice had brought

me my tea. I drank my cold tea. Maxim's bed was empty, and his pajamas were untouched.

I sat there in bed and thought about my marriage. I felt ashamed. Last night had shown me that

my marriage was a failure. I was too young for Maxim, too inexperienced. I loved him, but

it did not matter. I had thought that I would make him happy, but I was wrong. He did not

love me. He loved Rebecca. She was still in the house, she was in the garden, and in

the woods, and down in the cottage on the beach. Rebecca was still the mistress of Mandalay.

I got out of bed and pulled the curtains. The sun filled the room. I took a bath, got

dressed, and went downstairs. The rooms and the garden had been cleaned. The preparations

had taken so long, but the clearance had been so short and quick. Robert was busy in the dining

room.

"'Good morning, Robert,' I said. "'Have you seen Mr. De Winter?' He went out after breakfast,

Madam. He has not been in since. I went to the morning room. Jasper ran to me and licked

my hands. I picked up the telephone. Perhaps Maxim was with Frank. I had to speak to him.

I had to explain to him about last night. Frank answered, "'Is anything the matter?' he asked.

He did not say, "'Good morning,' or, "'Did you sleep well?' Why did he ask if something

was the matter?

"'Frank, it's me,' I said. "'Where's Maxim?'

"'I don't know. I haven't seen him. He's not been in this morning. Did you see him at breakfast?

"'How did he sleep?' Frank said.

"'I hesitated. He did not come to bed last night. There was silence. Oh,' he said at last.

"'Very slowly. I was afraid something like that would happen.

"'Where do you think he's gone?' I said. "'I don't know,' said Frank. Perhaps he's gone

for a walk.

"'Frank, I must see him,' I said. I've got to explain about last night.'

Maxim thinks I did it on purpose.

Tears started coming down my cheeks.

"'No,' said Frank. "'No.'

"'He does. You didn't see his eyes. He didn't speak to me, Frank. He never looked at me again.

"'If he believes I played that joke, he has a right to never talk to me again. Never see me again.'

"'You mustn't talk like that,' said Frank. You don't know what you're saying.

"'I've realized something. He doesn't love me. He loves Rebecca. It's always Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca.

"'I heard Frank cry out. "'Look, I've got to come and see you,' he said.

"'It's very important. Do you hear? I can't talk to you on the telephone.'

"'I put down the telephone and got up. I did not want to see Frank. He could not help me. No one could help me, but myself.

"'I felt that I would never see Maxim again. He had gone away and would not come back.

"'I knew that Frank believed this too and would not admit it to me on the telephone.

"'I went to the window and looked out. A fog had come up from the sea and I could not see the woods.

"'It was very hot. I went out to the lawns and walked to the edge of the woods.

"'I could hear the sea from where I stood. The white fog moved towards the house.

"'I looked back at the house, but I could not see it very clearly because of the fog.

"'I could see that one of the shutters in the West Wing was open. Someone was standing there, looking down at me.

"'I thought it was Maxim, but then the figure moved and I realized it was Mrs. Danvers.

"'She had been watching me. She may have listened to my conversation with Frank on the telephone.

"'She knew about my tears. She knew about last night. She knew because she had planned it.

"'This was her triumph, hers and Rebecca's. I remembered her watching me last night and I remembered her evil smile.

"'She was not dead like Rebecca. I could not speak to Rebecca, but I could speak to her.

"'I walked back to the house. I went up the stairs and to the West Wing.

"'I was in front of the door to Rebecca's room. I turned the handle and went inside.

"'Mrs. Danvers was still standing by the window and the shutter was open.

"'She turned to me and I saw her eyes were red with crying. She looked ill and tired.

"'Mrs. Danvers?' I said.

"'You've done what you wanted, haven't you?' I said.

"'Are you pleased now? Are you happy?'

"'She turned her head away and looked out of the window.

"'Why did you ever come here?' she said. Nobody wanted you at Mandalay.

"'We were all right until you came.

"'You forget that I love Mr. De Winter,' I said.

"'If you loved him, you would never have married him,' she said.

"'Why do you hate me?' I asked. What have I done to you?

"'You tried to take Mrs. De Winter's place,' she said.

"'I did not change anything,' I said. I gave no orders. I left everything to you.

"'I wanted to be friends with you.

"'Mr. De Winter is not happy,' she said, turning to look at me at last.

"'Just look at his eyes. He has looked like that ever since she died.

"'It's not true,' I said. He was happy when we were in France.

"'She laughed and shrugged her shoulders. She was mocking me.

"'I suddenly felt very angry. I was not afraid of her anymore.

"'I went up to her, shook her by the arm.

"'You made me wear that dress last night,' I said.

"'You did it because you wanted to hurt Mr. De Winter.

"'Hasn't he suffered enough? Do you think his pain will bring Mrs. De Winter?

"'I don't care about his pain,' she said.

"'He's never cared about my pain. How do you think I felt?

"'Watching you sit in her place. Touch the things that were hers.'

"'You write at her desk in the morning room. You use her pen.

"'The servants call you Mrs. De Winter. And all the time,

"'the real Mrs. De Winter, with her smile and her lovely face,

"'is lying cold and dead in the church. Mr. De Winter deserves to suffer.

"'He married a young girl so soon.'

"'Well, he's paying for it now. He knows she sees him.

"'She comes by night and watches him.'

"'No,' I said. No, Mrs. Danvers. What's the use of all this?

"'I don't want to hear any more. I don't want to know.'

"'She did not hear me. She continued like a mad woman.

"'She was a lovely child,' she said. Lovely as a picture.

"'She knew that she was beautiful. She was smart and strong.

"'She always got what she wanted. She was full of life. She would always win.

"'She did what she liked. She lived as she liked. She cared for nothing and for no one.

"'And then she lost in the end. But it wasn't a man or a woman that beat her.

"'It was the sea. The sea got her in the end. Mrs. Danvers began to cry noisily,

"'with her mouth open and her eyes dry. I was not afraid of her any longer.

"'Mrs. Danvers,' I said. You're not well. Why don't you go to your room and rest?'

"'She looked at me angrily. Leave me alone,' she said.

"'I'm not ashamed of my grief. I don't lock myself in my room and walk up and down like Mr. De Winter.

"'Up and down, like an animal in a cage. I don't want to hear,' I said.

"'I don't want to know.'

"'You say you made him happy,' she said.

"'What do you know about life? You come here and you think you can take my lady's place.

"'Even the servants laughed at you when you came.

"'You'd better stop this, Mrs. Danvers,' I said.

"'You'd better go to your room. Go to my room,' she said.

"'And after that, you'll run to Mr. De Winter and tell him Mrs. Danvers has been unkind to you,

"'just like you did when Mr. Favale came to see me. Mr. De Winter was jealous of Mr. Favale when she was alive.

"'And he's still jealous. That shows you he's not forgotten her. Everyone was jealous.

"'She didn't care. She only laughed. It was her game to her.

"'I don't want to know,' I said. I don't want to know.'

Mrs. Danvers came close to me and put her face near to mine.

"'She's the real Mrs. De Winter. Not you,' she said.

"'I backed away from her towards the window. She took my arm and held it.

"'Why don't you go,' she said. None of us want you.

"'He doesn't want you. He never did. He can't forget her. He wants to be alone in the house with her.'

"'She pushed me towards the open window. I could see the terrace below me, grey and indistinct in the fog.

"'Look down there,' she said.

"'Why don't you jump? It wouldn't hurt. It's not like drowning.

"'Why don't you try it? Why don't you go?'

"'The fog came through the open window. Damp and thick. I held on to the windowsill with my hands.

"'Don't be afraid,' said Mrs. Danvers.

"'I won't push you. You can jump. You're not happy. Mr. De Winter doesn't love you. Why don't you jump now?'

"'Then you won't be unhappy anymore.'

"'The fog was thicker now. I could see nothing but the white mist. If I jumped, I would not see the stones. The fall would kill me.'

"'Maxim did not love me. Go on,' whispered Mrs. Danvers. Go on. Don't be afraid.'

"'I shut my eyes. My fingers hurt from holding to the windowsill. The fog made me forget my unhappiness. I could forget about Rebecca.

"'Soon, I would not have to think about Rebecca anymore. Suddenly, there was a loud explosion that shook and cracked the window.

"'I opened my eyes and stared at Mrs. Danvers. Three more explosions were heard.

"'What is it?' I said. "'What has happened?' Mrs. Danvers let go of my arm. She looked out of the window into the fog.

"'It's the rockets,' she said. There must be a ship in trouble in the bay.

"'We listened, staring into the white fog together. Then we heard the sound of footsteps running on the terrace beneath us.

"'It was Maxim on the terrace. I could not see him, but I could hear his voice. I heard Frith answer from the hall.

"'A ship's hit the rocks on the bay,' Maxim said to Frith.

"'I was watching it go right into the rocks. They'll never be able to turn it in this fog.

"'Have some food and drink prepared for the men, and call Mr. Crawley and tell him what's happened.

"'I'm going back to the bay to see if I can help.' Mrs. Danvers moved back from the window.

"'We should go down,' she said. Frith will need me.

"'Mr. Dewinter may bring the men back to the house,' as he said.

"'Be careful of your hands. I'm going to shut the window.'

"'I watched her close the window and the shutters. She looked around the room to make sure everything was in place.

"'Then she went to the door and held it open for me.

"'When you see Mr. Dewinter, Madam, will you tell him there will be a hot meal ready for the men?

"'Yes, yes, Mrs. Danvers,' I said.

"'I watched her leave the room and walk down the corridor. I moved slowly.

"'It was as if I had just woken from a long sleep.

"'I went down the stairs. Frith saw me.'

"'Did you hear the rockets, Madam?' he said. Mr. Dewinter was here, but he went back to the beach.

"'It appears that a ship has had an accident.

"'Thank you, Frith,' I said.

"'I went out on the terrace. The fog was lifting. I looked up at the windows above my head.

"'They were tightly closed. I stared at the large window in the center.

"'I had stood there five minutes ago. It seemed so high. I suddenly felt hot.

"'My hands were wet.

"'And then I realized for the first time that Maxim had not gone away.

"'I had heard his voice on the terrace. It was the voice I knew. Maxim had not gone away.

"'He was down there in the bay. He was himself, normal and sane. He was safe.

"'Then I began to walk down the twisting path through the dark woods to the beach below.

"'The fog had almost gone, and when I came to the bay I could see the ship at once.

"'There were people on the cliffs. There were some small boats around the ship.

"'I climbed up the path over the cliffs towards the rest of the people.

"'I did not see Maxim anywhere. Frank was there, talking to one of the coast guards.

"'He saw me at once and waved his hand. I went over to them.

"'They'll send a diver down, Mrs. De Winter,' said the coast guard,

"'to see if the ship's back is broken.

"'Where's Maxim?' I asked Frank.

"'He's taken one of the sailors to the hospital,' said Frank.

"'We found the man in the sea, holding on to one of the rocks under the cliff.'

"'Maxim went down and spoke to him in German. He is a great help at times like this.'

"'That's right,' said the coast guard. He'd give the coat off his back for any of his own people.

"'I know that. There's nothing I can do here. I'm going back,' said Frank.

"'He turned to me. What are you going to do? I think I'll stay here a bit,' I said.

"'I want to see what the diver's going to do.'

"'Oh, well,' said Frank.

"'I'll be at the office all afternoon, if you need me.'

"'He nodded to the coast guard and left. The coast guard looked at his watch.

"'Well, I must be going too,' he said. Good afternoon.

"'I sat on the cliffs for a long time. The sea was calm now. People came to see the ship.

"'More boats arrived in the afternoon. The diver came up and then went down again.

"'Nothing happened at all. The water was low now and the ship was sitting at an angle.

"'It was still very hot. At three o 'clock I got up and went down to the bay.

"'It was quiet as always. White clouds now covered the sky and the sun was hidden.

"'Then I saw Ben sitting between two rocks. He looked up and saw me. He smiled.

"'Seen the ship?' he said.

"'Yes,' I said. "'It's on the rocks. It has a hole in the bottom.'

"'His face went blank and foolish. He was staring out towards the ship.

"'It will break up,' he said. "'It will not sink like a stone, like the little one.'

"'The fishes have eaten her up by now.'

"'Who?' I said.

"'Her,' he said. "'The other one.'

"'I did not understand what he meant. I left him and started walking through the woods.

"'I did not look at the cottage. I paused and looked back.

"'I could see the ship. The boats had all gone. Everyone had disappeared.

"'Clouds covered the sky. A leaf fell onto my hand from the tree above.

"'I shivered for no reason. I turned again to the path and started walking.

"'I had a strange sense of fear in my heart. Then I saw the house.

"'It looked very peaceful. It seemed protected, more beautiful than I had ever seen it.

"'Standing there, I realized for the first time that it was my home.

"'I belonged there and Mandalay belonged to me.

"'I went into the hall and through to the library. Jasper was not there.

"'He must have gone with Maxim. I picked up the paper and turned the pages without reading it.

"'I had a strange feeling. I was waiting for something to happen, something unexpected.

"'Robert brought in tea and sandwiches, and I ate hungrily.

"'Just after I had drunk my third cup, Robert came in again.

"'Captain Sol, the harbourmaster, is on the telephone madam.

"'He wants to know if he can come and speak to Mr. De Winter. He says it is very important.

"'He says he can speak with you if Mr. De Winter is not available.

"'Mr. De Winter may not be back very soon,' I said.

"'Tell him to come along at once if he likes.'

"'Robert went out of the room. I wondered what Captain Sol wanted to talk about.

"'It must be about the ship. But why did he want to speak with Maxim?

"'In less than 15 minutes, Captain Sol arrived. He was still in his uniform.

"'I shook hands with him.

"'I'm sorry my husband isn't back yet, Captain Sol,' I said.

"'I've got some news for Mr. De Winter,' he said.

"'And I don't know how to tell him.

"'He looked at me with his bright blue eyes.

"'What sort of news, Captain Sol?' I asked.

"'Well, Mrs. De Winter, it is not very pleasant,' he said.

"'When we sent the diver down to inspect the ship's bottom today,

"'he made a discovery. He found a little sailing boat down there.

"'It was quite undamaged. It's the boat that belonged to the late Mrs. De Winter.

"'I'm so sorry,' I said slowly.

"'Is it necessary to tell Mr. De Winter? Couldn't the boat be left there?

"'Well, normally it would be left, Mrs. De Winter.

"'But the man made another more important discovery.

"'The cabin door was tightly closed. He broke one of the windows and looked in.

"'Then he got the fright of his life, Mrs. De Winter.

"'There was a body in there, lying on the cabin floor, a skeleton.

"'He came up and reported it to me. That's why I must see your husband.

"'I stared at him, shocked. Now I knew the reason for the strange fear in my heart.

"'Someone must have been with Rebecca when she died.

"'Do we have to tell him?' I asked.

"'I've got to do my duty,' he said. I've got to report that body.'

The door opened and Maxim came into the room.

"'Hello,' he said. "'Is something the matter, Captain Cell?'

"'I could not stand it any longer. I went out of the room.

"'I had not even looked at Maxim's face.

"'I went and sat on the terrace.

"'The moment of crisis had come, and I had to face it.

"'It was time to overcome my fears, my weaknesses, my shyness.

"'I should not fail. I prayed for courage.

"'I sat there for five minutes. Then I heard Captain Cell's car leaving.

"'I went back slowly through the hall to the library.

"'Maxim was standing by the window. I went and stood beside him.

"'I took his hand and held it against my face. He did not say anything.

"'I'm so sorry,' I whispered.

"'I don't want you to face this alone. I want to share it with you.

"'I've grown up, Maxim. He put his arm round me and held me closely.

"'You've forgiven me, haven't you? About last night,' I said.

"'Ah, that,' he said. I'd forgotten. I was angry with you, wasn't I?

"'Maxim,' I said. Can't we start all over again?

"'It's too late, my darling. Too late,' he said.

"'We've lost our chance of happiness. It's all over now.

"'Something has happened. The thing I've dreamt about, day after day,

"'night after night, you and I could never be happy.'

"'He held my hands and looked into my face.

"'Rebekah has won,' he said.

"'I stared at him. My heart was beating and my hands were cold.

"'Her shadow is between us all the time,' he said.

"'I remember her eyes and her evil smile before she died.

"'She knew this would happen. She knew she would win in the end.

"'Maxim,' I whispered.

"'What are you trying to tell me?'

"'I know about the boat,' Captain Searle told me.

"'There was somebody sailing with Rebekah, and you have to find out who it was.

"'That's it, isn't it?'

"'No,' he said. "'No, you don't understand.

"'There was no one with Rebekah. She was alone,' he said.

"'I stood there, watching his face, watching his eyes.

"'It's Rebekah's body lying there in the boat,' he said.

"'No,' I said. "'No!'

"'The woman buried in the church is not Rebekah.

"'It's the body of some unknown woman belonging to no one,' he said.

"'There never was an accident. Rebekah was not drowned.

"'I killed her. I shot her in the cottage.

"'I carried her body to the cabin and took the boat out that night and sank it.

"'It's Rebekah who's lying dead there.

"'Will you look into my eyes and tell me that you love me now?'

"'It was very quiet in the library.

"'When people experience a great shock, they don't feel it at first.

"'As I stood there by Maxim, I felt no pain, no fear.

"'No horror. Then he held me.

"'I love you so much,' he said.

"'This is what I had wanted him to say every day and every night.

"'Then suddenly he pushed me away.

"'You see, I was right,' he said.

"'It's too late. You don't love me now.'

"'It's not too late,' I said, and put my arms around him.

"'I love you more than anything in the world.'

"'No,' he said.

"'It's no use now. How can we be together now that this has happened?'

"'They found Rebekah.'

"'I stared at him, not understanding.

"'What will they do?' I said.

"'They will identify her body and then they will remember the other one, the woman buried in the church.'

"'What are we going to do?' I said.

"'Maxim did not answer.

"'He stood there, his eyes wide, looking in front of him, not seeing anything.

"'Does anyone know?' I said.

"'Anyone at all?'

"'He shook his head.

"'No,' he said.

"'Frank,' I said.

"'Are you sure Frank does not know?

"'How could he?' said Maxim.

"'There was nobody there, but me.

"'It was dark.'

"'He stopped.

"'He sat down on a chair.

"'I sat on the floor by his side.

"'I thought I would go mad,' he said.

"'I sat here every day waiting for something to happen, trying to be normal, trying to be sane.'

"'I had to face them all.

"'Fryth, Mrs. Danvers, the servants, Frank, Giles and B, all these people, knowing every word I said was a lie.

"'Why didn't you tell me?

"'I nearly told you once.

"'But you were so distant.

"'I thought you were unhappy and bored.

"'I'm so much older than you.

"'How could I come to you when I knew you were thinking about Rebecca?

"'I said.

"'What are you talking about?' he said.

"'You thought I loved Rebecca?

"'I hated her, I tell you.

"'We never loved each other.

"'Never had one moment of happiness together.

"'Rebecca was incapable of love.

"'I sat on the floor, staring at him.

"'She was clever, of course,' he said.

"'Everyone thought she was the kindest person in the world.

"'She knew what to say to people.

"'When I married her, I was told I was the luckiest man in the world.'

"'Maxim stood up and started walking up and down.

"'I found the truth five days after we were married.

"'We were in the hills above Monte Carlo, the same place you and I drove to.'

"'She sat there in the car, laughing, and told me about herself terrible things.

"'He went and stood by the window.

"'I nearly killed her then,' he said.

"'She made a bargain with me.

"'I'll look after your dearest mandalay for you.

"'I'll make it the most famous show place in the country,' she said.

"'People will talk about us.

"'They'll say we are the happiest couple in England.'

"'She sat there, laughing.

"'I did not kill her,' Maxim said.

"'I let her laugh.'

"'We came here to mandalay.

"'She knew I would never divorce her and let the newspapers talk about us.'

"'He came up to me.

"'He held out his hands.

"'You hate me, don't you,' he said.

"'I did not say anything.

"'I held his hands against my heart.

"'I did not care about anything.

"'Only one thing mattered.

"'Maxim did not love Rebecca.

"'He had never loved her, never, never.

"'I thought about mandalay too much,' he said.

"'I put mandalay first before anything else.

"'I don't want to remember those terrible years, the lie we lived.

"'Friends, relatives, even the servants believed in her.

"'She laughed at them behind their backs.

"'But she made mandalay the thing it is today.

"'The gardens, the shrubs, even the flowers in the happy valley, the furniture.

"'The beauty of mandalay that you see today is all because of Rebecca.

"'I accepted everything because of mandalay.

"'She had a flat in London.

"'She lived a different life there.

"'She was careful at first.

"'Then she began to get careless.

"'She began to invite her friends to mandalay.

"'She would have parties and picnics down at her cottage in the bay.

"'I warned her.

"'I told her mandalay was mine.

"'She smiled and did not say anything.

"'Then Frank came to me one day and said he wanted to leave.

"'We argued for two hours and then I understood.

"'He told me.

"'She never left him alone.

"'She was always going down to his house trying to get him to the cottage.

"'After that I knew I could not trust her.

"'She had a cousin, an awful man called Jack Favill.

"'He used to come here whenever I was away.

"'I know him,' I said.

"'He came here the day you went to London.

"'I didn't want to tell you because it would remind you of Rebecca.

"'Frank saw his car and told me that day,' Maxim said.

"'Favill used to stay at the cottage.

"'I warned her again.

"'She shrugged her shoulders.

"'Then one night she had come back from London very late.

"'She had gone to the cottage.

"'I knew that I could not stand this life of lies any longer.

"'I took a gun to frighten her and went down to the cottage.

"'Rebecca was alone.

"'She looked ill and strange.

"'This is the end,' I said.

"'You can do what you like in London, but not here, not at Mandalay.'

"'She stared at me and smiled.

"'She looked very pale, very thin.

"'It would be very hard for you to divorce me,' she said.

"'Everyone believes our marriage is a success.

"'Besides, Danny, my personal maid,

"'would say anything I asked her in court.

"'We could make you look very foolish, Max,' she said.

"'She began to laugh.

"'She went on laughing.

"'How funny,' she said.

"'She turned around and smiled at me.

"'When I killed her, she was smiling.

"'Maxim's voice was low now.

"'There was so much blood.

"'I had to get water from the sea to clean the place.

"'Afterwards, I carried her out to the boat.

"'It was quite dark.

"'There was no moon.

"'I carried her down to the cabin and left her there.

"'Then, I had to get the boat far out into the water.

"'The wind was too strong.

"'It was so very dark.

"'Then, I made some holes in the bottom of the boat with a metal spike.

"'I opened the sea cocks.

"'The water began to come in.

"'It came up over my feet.

"'I climbed into the lifeboat and rode away.

"'The boat was sinking.

"'I watched until the boat was not there anymore.

"'Maxim looked at me.

"'That's all,' he said.

"'There's no more to tell.

"'We sat there together.

"'I went on holding his cold hands.

"'I knew the boat would be found one day,' said Maxim.

"'Rebecca knew she would win in the end.

"'I saw her smile when she died.

"'Rebecca is dead,' I said.

"'She can't harm you anymore.'

"'The diver has seen her body.

"'They're going down there tomorrow morning.

"'They'll find out that it's Rebecca's body.

"'Then you must say the other body was a mistake,' I said.

"'You must say that you were ill when you identified that body.'

"'Yes,' he said.

"'Yes.'

"'Nobody saw you that night.

"'They can't prove anything.

"'No one knows but you and I, Maxim.'

"'Yes,' he said.

"'Yes.'

"'They will think the boat sank when she was in the cabin.

"'They will think Rebecca was trapped there, won't they?'

"'I don't know,' he said.

"'I don't know.

"'Suddenly the telephone began ringing in the little room behind the library.

"'Maxim went into the little room and shot the door.

"'I could hear his voice.

"'Suddenly I realized that I felt different.

"'I was no longer afraid of Rebecca.

"'I did not hate her anymore.

"'I was free now to be with Maxim.

"'We would face this trouble together.

"'He and I.

"'Rebecca had not one.

"'Rebecca had lost.

"'Maxim came back into the library.

"'It was Colonel Julian,' he said.

"'He's the local magistrate.

"'He's coming out with us to look at the boat tomorrow.

"'He asked me if I could have made a mistake about the other body.

"'Maxim glanced out of the window.

"'The sky was white.

"'There was no wind.

"'It was still and quiet.

"'The telephone began ringing again.

"'He went into the room to answer it and came back quickly.

"'It's begun,' he said slowly.

"'What do you mean?' I asked.

"'It was a reporter from the local paper,' he said.

"'The whole story will be all over the papers by breakfast time tomorrow.

"'There's nothing we can do.'

"'After dinner, we went back to the library.

"'I sat next to him.

"'We did not talk much.

"'It was a strange sort of happiness.

"'It rained in the night.

"'When I woke up in the morning, Maxim had already left.

"'He would be down there now, in the bay, with Colonel Julian,

"'and Captain Searle and the men.

"'I got dressed and went down to breakfast.

"'There were a lot of letters thanking us for the dance.

"'After breakfast, I went into the morning room.

"'The room was untidy and the windows had not been opened.

"'Many of the flowers were dead.

"'I rang the bell for a maid.

"'When she came, I spoke to her angrily about the state of the room.

"'She apologized and cleared away the flowers.

"'I had not thought it would be so easy to be severe.

"'I wondered why it had seemed hard for me before.

"'The menu for the day was on the writing disc.

"'It was the same food we had served for the supper of the night of the ball.

"'I rang for Robert.

"'Tell Mrs. Danvers to order something different,' I told him.

"'Then I went into the garden to cut some roses.

"'I wondered if they were still down in the bay.

"'Very soon, Maxim will come back,' I thought.

"'I must be calm.

"'I must not be afraid.

"'I cut my roses and took them back into the morning room.

"'It had been cleaned.

"'I was arranging the flowers when there was a knock on the door.

"'It was Mrs. Danvers.

"'She had the menu list in her hand.

"'She looked pale and tired.

"'I don't understand,' she said.

"'Why did you send the message by Robert?

"'I am not used to this.'

"'If Mrs. De Winter wanted anything changed,

"'she would call me on the house telephone.'

"'I am Mrs. De Winter now,' you know,' I said.

"'And if I choose to send a message by Robert,

"'I will do so.'

"'She stood there, staring at me.'

"'Well, Mrs. Danvers, is there anything else?' I said.

"'I'm rather busy.

"'Is it true?' she asked slowly.

"'What they say about Mrs. De Winter's boat?

"'Has it been found?'

"'I'm afraid I don't know anything about that,' I said.

"'Don't you?' she said slowly.

"'She kept on looking at me.

"'I turned away.

"'I will give the orders about the lunch,' she said.

"'She waited a moment.

"'I did not say anything.

"'Then she went out of the room.

"'She can't frighten me any more,' I thought.

"'I knew she was my enemy, and I did not care.

"'But if she learned the truth about the body in the boat,

"'she would become Maxim's enemy too.'

"'I went out onto the terrace.

"'I began to walk up and down.

"'At half past eleven, Maxim called me from Frank's office.

"'He told me the boat was raised.

"'He said he was bringing Colonel Julian and Frank for lunch.

"'Time went by slowly.

"'At one o 'clock they arrived.

"'I went downstairs to the hall to meet them.

"'How do you do?' said Colonel Julian.

"'He had a serious voice.

"'This is a very unpleasant situation, Mrs. De Winter,' he said gently.

"'I do feel very sorry for you and your husband.'"

Maxim and Frank went to wash their hands.

Colonel Julian continued to explain.

"'I'm afraid the body we found was identified as the late Mrs. De Winter,' he said.

"'As you know, your husband identified that other body over a year ago.

"'That makes things rather difficult for us,' he said.

"'He stopped suddenly as Maxim and Frank came back into the room.

"'Lunch is ready.

"'Shall we go in?' said Maxim.

"'I did not look at Maxim during lunch.

"'We did nothing but small talk.

"'We talked about the weather and about the ball.

"'Colonel Julian asked about my time in France.

"'Fryth and Robert were in the room and no one wanted to talk about the boat.

"'At last coffee was served and they both went out of the room.

"'I wish an inquest was not necessary,' said the Colonel.

"'But I'm afraid that's quite impossible.'"

"'Naturally,' said Maxim, we understand.

"'At least we now know that poor Mrs. De Winter died quickly.'"

"'Yes,' said Maxim.

"'She must have gone down into the cabin for something.

"'Then the door got stuck and she was trapped.

"'Don't you think so, Crawley?' said the Colonel, turning to Frank.

"'Oh, yes, undoubtedly,' said Frank.

"'I saw Frank looking at Maxim.

"'I understood that Frank knew the truth.'"

"'As I said before, I wish I could stop this inquest,

"'but I can't,' the Colonel said.

"'It will be held on Tuesday morning,

"'and it will be as short as possible,

"'but I'm afraid there will be reporters.'"

"'There was another silence.'

"'I suggested going outside.

"'We all went out onto the terrace.

"'We stood about for a minute.

"'The Colonel looked at his watch.

"'Thank you for lunch,' he said.

"'I have a busy afternoon in front of me,

"'and I hope you will excuse me leaving.

"'Would you like a lift, Crawley?'

"'Maxim walked with them to the car.

"'When they had gone, he came back to me on the terrace.

"'It's going to be all right,' he said.

"'There won't be any difficulty at the inquest.

"'It's going to be all right.'"

"'I did not say anything.

"'I held his arm tightly.

"'I'm only worried about you,' he said.

"'I don't regret anything else.

"'I'm glad I killed Rebecca.

"'But you, I can't forget what it has done to you.

"'Your funny, young look has gone forever.

"'It's gone in 24 hours.

"'You are so much older.'"